Monday, 23 July 2012

Introducing Violet Grace!

My labour didn't go any where near how I imagined it would go. I tried to go into it with as little expectation as I could, but after 9 months of preparation I guess it's kind of hard not to. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, but in the end I received the most precious gift and it was all worth it.
After my 41 week appointment with the mid wife she set the 10th of July for me to be induced. I had a sweep and hoped and prayed I would go into labour before then (4 1/2 days) that night I had cramping, in the morning I got up and made some breakfast and to my disappointment they went away. I decided to go for a long walk in the hopes it might start things up again, and they did, I was quite uncomfortable and was relieved when I got home so I could put the heat pack on. And then they stopped again! So in the afternoon I went for another walk....nothing.  The next day I had a show, I spoke to my sisters and when this happened to them they went into labour within the next 24hrs, so I was very optimistic. The days passed and it didn't appear that baby wanted out. I was pretty upset.
Tuesday came; our appointment was at 3pm. It was odd driving to the hospital, I thought that the drive to the hospital I would be groaning in pain, excited and nervous that our baby was coming. Mikey driving like a maniac and maybe me yelling at him to slow down. But no, it was all very calm. I wasn't scared of labour, in fact by that point I just wanted it all to start so badly, preferably on it's own though. After waiting 3 excruciating hours in a tiny waiting room, we where finally seen, cervidil tape was placed on my cervix.  I was told that being induced can take up to 3 days and the tape would probably only "ripen" my cervix, then they would need to go with other methods. With-in the hour I started to get strong cramping that didn't stop and start like I thought contractions would. A side affect from the cervidil is cramping, so I guess that might of been why? An hour after that I was in a world of pain and was given a pain killer and tired to sleep. Mikey went home and would be called when things progressed. Well I didn't sleep, I tried to stay as quite as I could as I was in a room with another lady who had just given birth.  Eventually (here's where time seems to fade) I could no longer keep quiet and I was moaning and groaning. With each contraction I got a strong urge to push, this was the most painful feeling. I was examined and was 4cm dilated, Mikey was called and I was taken down to the birthing room, by 7am I was 8cm dilated, I was so excited, I would be seeing my baby soon! Oh how wrong I was, by 8am I was checked again and had gone down to 7cm! I was devastate, they thought that the baby was lying posterior, which explains the pushing sensation and had made me cervix swell. I was told to fight the urge to push, which is agonising and almost impossible. Mikey suggested I have some gas, which I hadn't even thought to take, I guess I was just dealing with my pain. I found the gas helpful, it didn't stop the pain, but help me focus.  Hours passed and I just didn't progress, eventually it was suggested that I have an epidural as it would relax me and may help me dilate. I was frustrated to get epidural as I had gone for so long with out it, but kind of relieved as I was in so much pain. The epidural didn't hurt, I can't really remember what it felt like, I think I was mainly concentrating on not moving while the procedure was preformed. Not before long, it started working. I could still move my legs and feel my contractions but it just didn't hurt. Unfortunately I still didn't progress and was told it didn't look like she was going to come with out assistance, so it was suggested I have a c-section. Through teary eyes I consented...devastate!
I was prepped and taken to theatre, where a bunch of doctors, anaesthetist, midwife and god knows who else were waiting for me. It all happened so fast, I don't think I had time to be scared, I was more disappointed then anything. Mikey was by my side the whole time to comfort me, but I think he was more terrified then me. It only took about 5mins for them to get her out, she was examined, Mikey cut the cord, then she was placed on my chest for a quick cuddle. It took about 45 mins for them to sew me back up again.  Finally I was taken to recovery where I could hold her in my arms and feed her for the first time. Nothing could of prepared me for the absolute love I felt in those moments, but also complete terror at the reality that I was now responsible for this little person.
All in all I was in labour for 20 hard hours, she was lying posterior and at 3.7kg (8 pound 4 ounces) was quite large for my small frame, and was told there as no way she could of been born without the c-section.
Looking back at my labour it is quite emotional for me, and I can't help but feel disappointed as I had hoped of a natural birth, but when I look at my beautiful baby I realise it was worth it in the end. Almost 2 weeks later and I'm feeling much better, I am loving being a mum and our little family.


paperdoll said...

Oh hell yeah! I've been waiting and waiting for this post.

Sounds like a very, VERY intense 20 hours for you :-( But you did it... you wonderful, incredidible "i'll smash the pain if you promise to give me my baby girl" lady. And you now you finally have a beautiful little girl to call your own. Congratulations to you and to your lovely Mr, yay!

Candice and I really can't wait to meet baby Violet... I'm especially excited. She looks like everything I expected and more... I love little baby button noses and Violet has a particularly cute and button-like one.


Tip Moore said...

Luckily the labour memories fade with time (they will, promise) & what you know is that you have a beautiful baby who is healthy and however she arrived in the world doesn't matter! :-) xo

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